


Get Through This

by Butsinceimetyou



Series: Seblaine Week 2020 [4]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25372054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butsinceimetyou/pseuds/Butsinceimetyou
Summary: Written for Seblaine Week 2020, Day 5: Hurt/Comfort + Day 6: Dalton.Also for this very old prompt (so, sorry anon!): Can we have something set after slushie!gate, where Blaine realises that he knows it was an accident but was using it as an excuse to distance himself from a boy he liked too much, so he decides to go talk to Seb and he finds him PINING, because he had hurt the boy he liked?
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Series: Seblaine Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1839583
Comments: 10
Kudos: 86
Collections: Seblaine Week 2020





	Get Through This

Blaine lets out a deep sigh after the door clicks behind Kurt, Finn, and Rachel leaving his room. It was nice of his friends to stop by, a needed distraction from all the chaos that his life has become, but seeing Kurt was also a reminder of what caused that chaos and the impending anxiety that has filled his head for the better part of two months.

When Blaine Anderson met Sebastian Smythe, he was instantly struck. The other boy was forward and flirtatious in a way Blaine hadn’t known he had been craving. With Kurt, the tip of the fingertips was as sexy as it got, and he had always thought that was enough for him, but Sebastian made him realize that it didn’t hurt to like being wanted. Or it hadn’t until that desire turned into eye surgery after a late-night Michael Jackson sing-off in the middle of a parking garage in West Lima.

The early morning phone calls and the late-night texts with Sebastian had made him feel more than he had in a long time. For some time, Kurt had been tied up with NYADA applications and student council, leaving Blaine at the sidelines. It also didn’t help that, despite his insistence that he was totally fine with Blaine playing Tony, the younger boy could tell Kurt was still bitter about being passed up by his boyfriend for the lead role. It had been a while since Blaine felt the butterflies in his stomach that he felt the first time Kurt sang “Blackbird” in the warbler practice room.

But Sebastian never filled Blaine with butterflies—it was always more than that. Sebastian made him feel like he was on fire, burning with something that after he felt it once, he never wanted to go away. But here he is, two months since that first cup of coffee in the Dalton student lounge, lying in his bed, pent up with feelings for a boy who had nearly blinded him, knowing full well that he shouldn’t feel this way, should have never felt this way.

Letting in the taller boy, with his quick wit and his sharp smirk had proved detrimental to say the least. Kurt had been suspicious of Sebastian from day one, but Blaine had ignored his boyfriend’s worries, adding up all of the other boy’s dark glares and quips of “I don’t like that guy” to nothing but a little bit of jealousy. And while Blaine hated seeing his boyfriend turn into the green-eyed monster, he also refused to let Kurt dictate who he could be friends with. Kurt didn’t have to trust Sebastian, but he did need to trust Blaine.

But now, as Blaine sits alone at home, while his friends are off probably planning their next song for the glee club, Blaine can’t help but think that maybe Kurt had been right all along. Sebastian, who Blaine had started seeing as one of his closest friends, had spun around and stabbed him in the back, leaving behind a sticky icy red trail in his wake. And it wasn’t just the slushie that was hurting Blaine, that had only twisted the knife. It had all started when Sebastian stepped up to the group earlier that week at the Lima Bean, threats of Michael Jackson mayhem on his tongue. Sebastian had broken Blaine’s trust, made him feel used, like the only reason the Dalton boy had ever offered his hand in friendship was to get the upper hand on the New Directions.

Turning to the stack of DVDs Finn had brought by, Blaine tries to decide between watching _Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides_ or just going to sleep early. The skin around his eye underneath his eye patch is itching, he’s too hot in his navy blue striped pajamas, and he can feel the twinge of a headache coming on. Perhaps sleep would be the best choice.

But just before he goes to turn off his bedside lamp, the ping of his phone grabs his attention. It’s a text from a number he knows well, despite deleting the contact just a few hours prior.

_I know it probably doesn’t mean much, but I’m really sorry._

Blaine reads the text, setting his heart aflutter, a bit with anxiety as to how to respond and with heartbreak because he’s not quite sure he can believe Sebastian right now. He can feel tears resting heavily in his eyes, threatening to spill over, making his injured eye burn and sting. Part of him wants to reply, to tell Sebastian to delete his number and stay away from him. Another part of him wants to beg for an explanation, to ask what happened to the kind-hearted boy Blaine knew Sebastian kept buried under his sarcastic exterior. For now, though, he slides the message away and turns his phone to vibrate, switches off the light in his room, and rests.

* * *

Blaine waves back at Sugar’s car as she backs out of the driveway, before unlocking the front door and stepping into the house. He turns off the porch light his mother had left on for him and deadbolts the door before heading into the living room where he knows she is probably still up reading, the lamplight shining through the French doors into the front hall. He watches his mother slide a bookmark between the pages of the latest romance novel, before smiling up at him from where she’s comfortably perched on the couch.

“How was the party, sweetheart?” She asks.

“Good. Very pink. I think Sugar bought out the entire Valentine’s Day section at Party City.” He says with a small chuckle. His mother gives him a warm smile. “Everyone was pretty surprised to see me. The heart-shaped eye patch was a big hit.” At the mention of the eye patch, her smile dims.

“How is your eye? Does it feel okay? The light wasn’t too sensitive, was it? Come here, let me see.” She says, gesturing to the seat beside her on the couch. Blaine lets out a huff but sits down anyway, letting his mother run soft fingers down the side of his face.

“Mom, it’s fine. Doesn’t hurt a bit, I promise.” Blaine insists, trying to alleviate the crease between his mother’s eyebrows, as she looks at him with worry. “And I took my medicine earlier. I’m all good.” His mother pulls her hand away, giving him a small nod, but he can tell she’s still a little uncertain. Blaine lets out a yawn, but not before giving his mother a reassuring smile. “I think I am gonna go to bed. The party was longer than I expected.” His mother kisses him on the cheek and a small pat on the shoulder, offering another small smile.

“Alright, get some sleep. Goodnight, honey.” She says, watching him stand from the couch, before settling back down with her book. As Blaine heads down the hall toward the stairs, his mother calls his name “There’s a package on your bed that came for you today.” He calls back a thank you and another goodnight, before trudging up the stairs, trying to figure out what could have possibly come in the mail for him. He couldn’t remember ordering anything, and his birthday wasn’t for another few months. He and Kurt had decided not to exchange Valentine’s gifts, because Blaine had been locked up at home for so long, so it couldn’t be from his boyfriend (Blaine would never admit it, but with all the NYADA stuff, he’s pretty sure Kurt would have forgotten to get him something anyway).

In his room, Blaine flips on the light, finding a medium size box atop his bed. His name and address are written in neat black lettering right in the center, and as per standard mail rules, the return address is written in the same neat writing in the top left-hand corner. There is no name but he would know that address in his sleep—Dalton Academy. With a deep sigh, Blaine lifts the somewhat heavy box and drops it on his desk before going about his nightly routine.

It had been a few weeks since he had spoken to any of the Warblers. Sebastian had tried to reach out only one time, and thank god because he wasn’t sure he would be able to ignore him forever. But some of the other guys had been more insistent. Nick had texted a few times, expressing his apologies, but Blaine left him on read. He knew that Nick and Sebastian had gotten close over the past months, and while he would like to believe his longtime friend would never turn against him, he couldn’t be certain that the other boy wasn’t in on all of Sebastian’s schemes.

Trent had sent Blaine a rather longwinded message about how the whole thing was an accident, that they were just trying to ruin Kurt’s clothes, not hurt anyone. And while part of Blaine believed him, Trent still admitted to being apart of the plan, and Blaine couldn’t forgive that yet. He hesitated for a moment and considered texting the warbler back to tell him that ruining his boyfriend’s clothes was still an attack on someone he cared about, but he didn’t want to start an argument. He knew most of the warblers had never been fond of Kurt. Not that Kurt had been fond of them either, something that had always hurt Blaine a little bit.

The only warbler he had responded to was Jeff, the other boy had sent him a panicked message a few days after the night in the garage, telling Blaine how he never knew about the slushie and how he never would have come that night had he known. That he would have warned Blaine. The other boy had been one of his closest friends while at Dalton and was one of the sweetest people he had ever met. Blaine simply responded with, “I believe you,” and a single heart emoji, knowing how much Jeff could get worked up about things, but ignored the proceeding messages claiming everyone else was sorry too and, “We miss you so much, Blaine. Please talk to the others. Sebastian, especially.”

After changing into his pajamas and brushing his teeth, Blaine tries to FaceTime Kurt for their nightly skincare regime. He wants to tell Kurt about the box. He wants to ask the other boy if he should open it tonight, or tomorrow, or if he should just dump it in the trash without even a peek inside. But, of course, his call gets no response. With a roll of his eyes Blaine, quickly washes his face and moisturizes, skipping the many exfoliates and crèmes Kurt bought for him when they first started dating. It wasn’t uncommon these days that they skipped their FaceTime skincare routine, or more specifically, that Kurt skipped it. Even with an eye patch making it difficult and even a little painful for Blaine to scrub his face, he still tried to call Kurt each night, often receiving a text in response with an excuse, sometimes even receiving nothing but a voicemail.

The first few days after his eye surgery, Kurt had come over every day after school. He sat at Blaine’s bedside as he did his homework, he helped Blaine’s mom make dinner and stayed each night until Blaine fell asleep around nine, his pain medication knocking him out early. But after less than a week, he was back to spending every waking moment with Rachel, preparing for NYADA, and on the rare occasion that he actually called Blaine, he’d say things like, “I can’t wait until you’re better so you can help me pick out sheet music for my audition!

It was after those few days that he started to really miss Sebastian. Well, Sebastian pre-slushie, pre-Michael Jackson week, pre-breaking Blaine’s heart.

Blaine walks over to his bed, sliding under the covers with every intention of ignoring the box on his desk and going to sleep, but it only takes a few seconds before he sighs and gets back out of bed. With a pair of scissors, he neatly cuts through the packing tape, somewhat scared to see what’s inside, only to be shocked, and a little confused, by the small stack of books, movies, and candy inside. There’s a manila envelope to the side of the box with his name written on the outside in that same neat, handwriting. Nestled inside the envelope, there are over a dozen cards. Some are simply folded slips of notebook paper, other’s store-bought. There are even a few with silly hand-drawn pictures on the outside.

His curiosity gets the better of him, as he pulls cards out one at a time and reads through each one. There appears to be one from every warbler, each of them expressing their apologies and telling him how much they miss him. Even the freshman who he had never gotten the chance to meet, write small notes, apologizing and voicing their awe at the legendry Blaine Anderson.

Each note makes his chest swell just a little bit more than the last. He had missed his friends more than he realized, the fact that they went through all of this effort just to tell him sorry meant so much. Blaine doesn’t realize he’s crying until he’s halfway through the final card in the envelope, the only one he had been hesitant to read, the one written in neat black lettering.

_B,_

_I can’t express how much I royally fucked up. I don’t expect you to forgive me, god knows, I wouldn’t forgive me. Holding a grudge is something I’m pretty good at, so you can rest assured I understand if you hate me forever._

_The guys all feel really terrible about what happened. Don’t blame them for this. I have no room to ask for any favors, but if I may, I ask that you put this on me and me alone. Most of them were against the idea to begin with. They all care about you so much, Blaine. They’re good friends, better than I deserve._

_I know it probably doesn’t matter now, but please believe that I never meant for things to get out of control as they did. The last thing I ever wanted was for anyone to get hurt, especially you of all people._

_I’m not good at feelings, emotions, etc. I’m good at dancing and lacrosse and fucking and twisting my words to get what I want, but when I started to feel things I hadn’t before, I reacted beyond ridiculous and you ended up in the crossfire. I am so sorry, Blaine. I would tell you every day for the rest of forever, but I imagine you’d rather I just stay away, so that’s what I’ll do._

_Tell Kurt and the others, I’m sorry, too._

_Happy Valentine’s Day, killer,_

_Love,_

_S_

_PS: I hope you enjoy your gifts. I remember you once said a perfect Sunday was spent reading a little Austen, singing with Judy Garland, and gorging on chocolates, so I made sure to include some of your favorites. I might have snuck in a few of mine, as well. Keep them, burn them, it’s up to you._

Blaine runs a hand across his cheeks, trying to wipe away some of the tears that have fallen. After that night when Sebastian had texted him, Blaine had tried so hard to pretend like he was okay like it was his eye surgery and stresses at school that had been making him so melancholy and distant. In reality, between Kurt’s current disinterest in being a good boyfriend and Blaine transferring away from Dalton, Blaine had a very lonely hole in his heart, and Sebastian had filled that hole, just to rip it back open with one silly slushie toss.

Looking over at the clock, Blaine decides it’s too late to drive out to Dalton now, settling on making the trek tomorrow afternoon. It will be Thursday, so he’ll have to wait until after glee, but he’s certain Kurt will be spending the afternoon with Rachel working on more NYADA stuff, so his boyfriend won’t be there to try and talk him out of it.

He might be fooling himself, yet again. Sebastian’s note, which felt so sincere, might just be a ploy, leading him straight off a cliff, but his heart has hurt too much these past few weeks to just ignore the feeling in his gut that all of this, this box of his favorite books and movies and a manila envelope from some of his dearest friends, is anything less than a handheld out in truce.

Blaine goes back to his bed, curling under the covers, but not before shooting off a text to a number he never forgot.

_Are you busy tomorrow evening?_

The response comes back quickly as if Sebastian had been sitting there waiting for his message. Perhaps he had been.

_I have lacrosse practice until 4:30, but otherwise, no._

Blaine doesn’t respond after that, ignoring the texts that follow some minutes later, turning off his light, and trying to sleep. He hopes he doesn’t regret this.

_Blaine? ...Blaine, are you there?_

* * *

The drive to Dalton is a familiar and therapeutic one. It’s Thursday evening, just shy of 5 pm, so traffic is a bit heavy but the drive isn’t too bad. His phone pings with a text, as Blaine takes the exit toward the school he had once called his safe-haven. It’s probably his mom, responding to his text saying he would be missing dinner tonight. He knows it isn’t Kurt, who is probably still mad at him for not going with him to find sheet music at Between the Sheets after glee.

He never responded to Sebastian’s texts, so it probably wouldn’t be him. Blaine had been unsure of what to say, hoping that once he’s in front of the other boy, his brain will be able to muster up the words he needs to express all of the emotions he’s feeling.

Sebastian had signed his note “love” which Blaine is embarrassed to admit was the part that seemed to stick in his mind the most. He figured he was reading too much into the little word, not to mention that Kurt is still very much his boyfriend, even if they talk less and less each day and Blaine’s starting to forget what being a boyfriend even means. When Blaine had read that four-letter wold in Sebastian’s perfect script, he had choked just the slightest on his tears.

That was why the whole Michael fiasco had hurt so much. He wasn’t _in love_ with Sebastian, but the niggling in the back of his brain and deep in his heart knew that he was _in something_ with Sebastian, and now he couldn’t help but wonder if the other boy felt the same way.

Pulling into the Dalton parking lot, Blaine kills the engine and slips off his seatbelt before taking a deep shuddering breath. The last time he had been here, the Warblers had sung to him and the other New Directions, their rendition of the Jackson 5’s “I Want You Back” an obvious ploy to get under Blaine and the rest of his fellow glee clubbers' skin. He remembers walking out of the senior commons, the rest of the New Directions members in tow, feeling like he had been slapped in the face.

Now, as he climbs out of his car and makes the short walk from the parking lot to the Dalton dorms, he blinks away tears, trying to forget that afternoon that had taken place just a few short weeks before. He had felt so heartbroken, that his friends would do that to him, unable to imagine what would happen just a few hours later in the dark corners of a garage. He hopes he doesn’t see any of his old friends as he heads inside, taking the stairs up two floors to where he knows the junior dorms are located.

He wants to see his friends. After reading their notes, he more than forgives them, but he needs to see Sebastian first. He’s scared if he runs into Jeff or Nick, even Trent, that he’ll lose the nerve he had built up to talk to the taller boy, and end up high-tailing it out the door like a coward. He makes it to the junior hall in the clear, passing a few familiar faces from his time at the school but fortunately, none of them are warblers.

The walk down the hall, skimming the names on every door, feels longer than it really is until he plants his feet in front of a door labeled “Smythe/Sterling.” He had been in this room only once, when Jeff had invited him over back before winter break for a movie night with him, Nick, and Trent. Sebastian had been out (“probably at Scandals.” Jeff had said). Kurt had been skeptical, grilling him about the taller boy the next day, and he remembers feeling sad he had missed the other boy but also relieved that he didn’t have to lie, Kurt, when he said, “I didn’t see him.”

With a deep breath, Blaine gives the door three swift knocks, part of him hoping for no response, but the door swings open just moments after, to show a very distraught looking Sebastian. The taller boy is dressed in rumbled Dalton Lacrosse sweatpants and a grey t-shirt. The bags under his eyes are deep like he hadn’t slept a wink the night before, and his hair is mussed in many directions.

“Blaine.” He breathes, so quiet, Blaine almost thinks he imagined it.

“Hey…could I come in?” Blaine asks, not quite looking the other boy in the eye. Sebastian’s staring at him, wide-eyed, as if he’s waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out and tell him he’s on an episode of Punk’d, but the taller boy simply nods, stepping to the side, as Blaine walks into the room. Jeff isn’t there—his side of the room is clean and tidy, bed made, shoes aligned in a row underneath.

“Jeff went out with Nick,” Sebastian says, taking in the way Blaine’s eyes glaze over the right side of the room. He shifts his attention to the left. Sebastian’s area is just as tidy. His bed is made, a navy plaid comforter pulled taut with two soft grey pillows at the head. There’s a small bookcase, filled with books and movies alike, no doubt thoroughly organized. His lacrosse gear is tucked away under his bed and the top of his desk is neat as a pin, save for his satchel which hangs open from where it’s placed neatly in the center of his desk. If it weren’t for his bag, it would seem as if he hadn’t been here, same as Jeff.

It’s the sound of a throat clearing that makes Blaine finally turn to where Sebastian stands, the door now closed behind him. Anyone who met Sebastian Smythe with his towering 6’2” height, his straight-set shoulders, and his seemingly permanent smirk, would say he was the dictionary definition of confidence. The first time Blaine met the other boy, he was dripping with it, as flirtations fell from his lips, smooth as butter.

This boy in front of him is not a version of Sebastian that Blaine has ever met. His shoulders are slouched, his hands are buried deep in the pockets of his sweatpants, and his eyes are very pointedly glued to the floor, blinking harshly as if he’s trying to keep from crying.

“Sebastian—” Blaine starts.

“I was surprised to get your text last night,” Sebastian says, effectively cutting Blaine off. He’s still staring at the floor, which for some reason is making Blaine feel more uncomfortable than Sebastian’s usual unwavering stare at _him._ “I mean, I knew you got the package yesterday, so I kind of hoped you might…but I don’t really deserve that, right?” He says it like a question, but Blaine isn’t sure if he really wants an answer.

Blaine sighs at the situation, at Sebastian refusing to look at him, at the very confusing feelings that are running through him right now. He turns to Sebastian’s desk, pulling out the chair and turning it so it faces the other boy’s bed before taking a seat.

“Will you sit down, please?” He asks Sebastian, “and could you please look at me?” Sebastian sighs, taking a seat on the bed, directly opposite him, finally looking up. It’s then that he sees the tears that Sebastian has desperately been trying to hold back.

“Blaine—” His voice cracks, the tears set free, trickling down his pale, freckled cheeks. “Blaine, I’m so sorry. You have to know, I, I didn’t want any of this to happen, I swear. I would never, not to you. I would never.” The last word is nearly a whisper, as he lowers his head once again. Blaine’s quiet, trying to process everything that has happened in a matter of five minutes.

When Blaine decided to come to Dalton today, he wasn’t sure how their conversation would go, but he never could have imagined Sebastian Smythe, seated in front of him, crying, as the taller boy tried to tell him how sorry he was. He was fairly certain last night, after reading Sebastian’s note, that he had already forgiven the other boy. But now, sitting here across from a side of Sebastian that he knew the other boy rarely showed (perhaps had never shown) to other people, he felt his heartbreak a little bit again, but not from Sebastian's actions like last time, but for him.

“It’s okay.” Blaine finally croaks out. At some point, he too had started crying. “I forgive you. I know it was an accident.”

“You don’t have to forgive me,” Sebastian says, still eyeing the floor, hands fisted in his lap. Blaine can’t help but lean forward, lifting a hand to Sebastian’s chin, tilting his head up to face him.

“I forgive you,” Blaine says, pulling his hand back. “And it’s not just because you are excellent at gift-giving.” He says with a laugh, a small attempt to lighten the mood. “I miss my friends. I miss the warblers. I miss you. You’re my best friend, Sebastian.” He keeps eye contact with the other boy, not wanting him to look away again. “I think that’s what was more upsetting than anything. I thought I’d lost you.” It’s a lot to admit, how much Sebastian truly means to him, but he needs him to know if they want any chance of being friends again.

Sebastian wipes a hand across his cheeks, a failed attempt at stopping the tears that continue to slide down his face. Blaine knows this must be hard for him, showing this kind of vulnerability to someone else.

“You could never lose me, Blaine. I’m the one who lost you.” Sebastian says, and Blaine can’t help but laugh at how dramatic that sounds, earning another heartbreaking look from Sebastian.

“Listen, _I’m_ okay. My eye is fine. The world hasn’t ended. And despite what you may think, I most certainly do not hate you.” Blaine says. “Can we agree that no one is losing anyone here?” Blaine asks, feeling a little desperate. These past few weeks have brought about too much heartbreak and too many tears. He just wants to wash it all away and be friends again.

“Won’t your boyfriend be mad if you start hanging out with me again?” Sebastian asks. His voice sounds off, a little rough from crying but there’s no malice there. He’s asking because he’s curious. He’s asking because he cares.

“I don’t—” Blaine sighs. “I don’t know if Kurt and I are going to be boyfriends for much longer.” It doesn’t hurt as much to admit as he thought it would but maybe it’s because there’s a boy who undoubtedly cares about him sitting across from him. Maybe it’s because he and Kurt have just drifted too far apart. Whatever the reason, he knows it’s true, that he and Kurt weren’t meant to last, and by the look on Sebastian’s face, he’s not entirely shocked.

“Really? And why’s that?” Sebastian asks. The tears are gone and, although faint, a smirk is gracing his lips, just for a moment, before straightening out.

“Things haven’t been great between us for a while. With New York and NYADA, he’s moving on, whether he realizes it or not.” Blaine says, finally admitting to someone what he’s been witnessing these past few months. Sebastian nods, in understanding, but says nothing. “And I think I might like someone else,” Blaine adds after a quiet moment.

“Oh?” Sebastian asks, feigning disinterest.

“Yeah, you might know him, actually. He goes to Dalton. Junior. Tall. Green eyes. Devastatingly handsome.” The laughter that Sebastian expels is enough to turn Blaine’s cheeks pink.

“Sounds like a catch.” Sebastian retorts, a bright, genuine smile on his face.

“You have no idea.”

The air starts to settle. The following days may prove to be a bit awkward to navigate, but they each got their friend back, and hopefully someday, more than that. They’ll get through this.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i'm over at glitzgustin on tumblr if you want to send in prompts, cry over seblaine, or simply say hey <3


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